There is certainly one key determinant in gauging mental, emotional, and spiritual health:
To what extent does an individual have the capability to look at their responsibility versus their propensity to regulate others.
Those who receive counsel well placed their responsibility.
Those who receive counsel poorly are the ones who are likely to blame-shift and try to master others.
Couples who place their personal responsibility individually enjoy progress.
Couples where even one person who insists upon keeping conflict mode tend not to progress.
But this post extends well beyond couples.
It reaches the farthest reaches of our relationships, with other people, with God, in spite of ourselves.
If people experience us as controlling nobody is only untrustworthy, we’re also unsafe, instead of a pleasure to get along with.
Let’s remember God made us for relationship, that has its aim in becoming a pleasure to get along with (not too we’re ever anticipated to achieve that continuously). If people experience us as taking our responsibility, they’re liberal to enjoy relating along with us as anyone who is often a pleasure to find out, because we’re safe to be with. To be a blessing is often our aim.
Two pivotal questions remain:
How can I be less controlling?
Needing to possess control indicates we’re controlled by fear, that is driven by insecurity.
Because we all have the proclivity for being insecure, we all do need to consider responsibility for that possibility you can be controlling. The sheer knowledge of being insecure allows us to regulate the need to manage situations among others. This is done simply in owning responsibility for such awareness. We see our controlling things as wrong therefore we repent for these attitudes and behaviours. This is actually one quite effective way of taking responsibility.
How can I take even more of my own responsibility?
For lots of people honestly have trouible with needing to possess control, this is really a hard question. But wherever you will find the endeavour to reside in a more God-pleasing life there is an capacity to get there. Living responsibly may be the way to reside in a God-pleasing life, since it is the life of faith – of trusting God towards the extent of loving others.
Whenever we live responsibly we’re a smaller burden and really a blessing to others. It would misrepresent the reality to say this trend is absolute, however it is a reliable guide.
We take more responsibility if we hold ourselves to short account, particularly once we use the prayer from Psalm 139:23-24: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there exists any wicked strategies me, and lead me the way everlasting.” What this prayer is really beseeching God about you can see. God already knows our heart; He knows our thoughts. The prayer is asking God making it clear to us what He already knows. It could be as follows:
Lord, You know my heart, please show me.
I submit to Your testing of my attitude;
show me reality of my thoughts.
Reveal any symbol of wickedness
(with this situation or some other)
And keep lead me, please. AMEN
Those having responsibility, seek God’s understanding of truth, which requires intimacy just to walk humbly with God.
Some traits from the responsible:
They tackle what they can control, and they also accept what they have to cannot control.
They’re honest before God for the extent of hearing another individual out who’s a complaint against them.
They’re quick to have their contribution of fault, however they don’t enable others’ irresponsibility.
They own their current relationships and they are happy to cut unsafe people out of their lives and never feel guilty regarding it.
They’re for that most part logical, reasonable, reliable, rational.
They take seriously the hurts of others, living peaceful with everyone in terms of it depends with them, especially regarding behaviours which is why they, themselves, provide.